Haphazard Records

Religion? Heaven?

Wow, it's been so long since I've blogged. Life is just getting from bad to worse. Ms kok, syf, o levels. It just won't stop. Enough is enough.

Frankly, I think and feel that people shouldn't just spread what they THINK of heaven so freely. I mean, I for one, cannot fully believe there's even a heaven. Who knows about the afterlife truly? The person who wrote the book in the bible, Revelations? How much of it is reliable?

I've once tried to share the gospel with Sharon. But then she soon started questioning about God, whether he is real or not. I was taken aback, it never occurred to me so I asked my Sunday School teacher when I was young, "Is God real?"
She replied, "Of course!"
"But how do you know? What's the proof?"
"Read the bible! Everything in there is true!"

She sounded really angry when I asked, hence I didn't dare to further question. And never did ever again. I personally now think that she shouldn't have done that. Cause I feel like I don't really want to believe anymore.

But you, do YOU truly believe what the bible says? It was and is written by man. Not a special delivery dropped right from heaven. How much can we believe it? Now maybe you think my entire Christian faith is shaken, maybe I should just have faith. I tell you, it's not easy. The life that I'm living, how the world is now, doesn't lead me to believe that having Faith is the right way. How would I know it is not some propaganda or brain-washing cult that is popular and historical?

You maybe would say that, "There's historical proof that things written in the bible is true!"
Well, there's another religion, either Muslim or Islam that has almost the exact same stories as that of the bible but 2 different beliefs. So who is true?

I don't know but I think this whole thing is so screwed... Maybe one day you accidentally bump into a person on the streets, then that person turns at scrutinizes you for your action. But he might have been to church, worshiping on his knees the day before. I don't know what to think.

I admit, I ever considered to be just a free-thinker. But I've been brought up in a Christian family, been going to church before I could even walk. It's been instilled in my thinking that if I convert, I'll be condemned. Hence, I never dared to quit my Christian life. I always feel like this Christianity religion is a burden forced onto me unwillingly.

A lot of times I have stopped going to church, cause I don't wish to be a hypocrite. I don't want to be praying and worshiping half-heartedly. Then once I step out of church, I revert back to my life, un-christianly.

When people talk about heaven, I take it with a pinch of salt. I cannot fully believe. For those stanch Christians, this might make me seem like a sinner. But at least I'm not being hypocritical about what I truly believe in.

Say what you wish. But you can never make someone entirely believe in something we cannot see, hear or touch.

posted by Cineja @ 12:16 PM